April sixteenth, 1928
by shattered rainbow
Summary: The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner. An assignment for lit class, we had to write a Caddy section because she doesn't get one in the novel. If you haven't read the book, you won't get it. Rated T for some very minor language. Stream of consciousnes


April sixteenth, 1928

So it took him a week to tell me. That would just go to show how much he really cares about me knowing anything, just another thing to blame on Caddy. And I know it, too. But it's not like I didn't want her, oh no. I wanted her more than I've ever wanted anything before, it was just she was the one thing I couldn't have.

At least he had the mind to send me the telegram _they didn't even let me know. _He never tells anyone anything for the sake of telling, though. _If I hadn't happened to look _He just wants you to know the reason for why he hates you even more now_ I could have gone for weeks, or months without knowing. And all because of a woman who claims to be honorable, not even telling her daughter that her father was dead. But she can't really help it, I guess. All standing in a circle with the rain pouring down on them, throwing clods of dirt down into the pit. None of them care anyway. Maybe they cared a little but they'd spent so much time not caring they wouldn't know an emotion if it slapped them the face._

I put the telegram down onto the table. _Q's run away. _But that was no surprise because I already had the other letter S_itting there in the kitchen all full of shock and knowing that none of this would have happened if I'd had her to raise, but Father came and took her away. Not seeing her but only because of Jason If he cared he If he cared he would have let me take her instead of stealing to keep us all in that cycle of hurt. _

I grabbed the telegram off the table and stuffed it into my bag along with the two other letters. I read the first again, but then I tossed it away _I know why Quentin ran away. You cannot blame what she did on me, but know that if I had had her, this never would have happened. You promised you would take good care of her and take care of her for me, but you didn't and you cannot blame me for this _the letter wouldn't change anything. I should just go down there now and demand _he only drove past quickly, wouldn't even let me hold her, _to know more. But Dilsey had already told me, but he hadn't told me, he'd only let me know.

The sun was already sinking down below behind the trees_ I'll be gone soon _but she wasn't gone Quentin was gone instead but she wouldn't understand that feeling. If I had to pick it'd be father, but she cant help it, cant help it any more than Benjy can. _Benjy waiting at the gate always waiting for me Crying at the wedding running out but he wouldn't stop and I knew I couldn't stop him and now it was all different. Now she was coming but I had to leave, and then they took her away after it all anyway._

The second was for Dilsey. _It was Dilsey let me hold her sneaking in but she let me all the same. _I figured it would get to Jefferson by the 19th and she could write back and then I'd know by the 23rd but who was I kidding she wouldn't know either. I didn't know where to write to I hadn't heard from her, it was like she was just gone.

If only I could have _I'll give you a thousand dollars _raised her myself, then that never would have happened, I could have _You haven't got a thousand dollars _raised her right. I've had a good home _Yes I have _and she wouldn't have had to _I will have _run around _I can get it _and she would've been happy.

It was almost dark when I got there. The box was empty. He hadn't even tried to explain. _Just promise that she_ that liar. Never did a thing not for himself _promise to take care of her_ I stood by the empty box, feeling all empty, but full at the same time. There was nothing left, but _Sure As long as you behave _Oh that liar how could he damn him damn him and her gone _Promise, Jason_ and he didn't even bother to tell me why

I closed the empty box. I opened my other hand and saw the other letter. I hadn't even realized I was holding it. It was creased and dirty, now. Dilsey didn't know anymore than I knew and letters didn't help. How many _worry worry worry. Letter after letter and all full of worry and now the letters would do no good only rumpled and broken, like a broken wing, unable to function. Worrying after them because she was still there and if she wasn't here then I was still worrying. _

I walked out of the post office, the broken letter in my hand. _Hadn't cared in a while. Not them. _There wasn't any use, I guess. Not any use to worry over them, not Mother, or Jason or Dilsey or even Benjy because I had been gone awhile now, and only worrying for them because of Quentin. She's better away from them anyhow. _She's along all alone no one to help _she'll be better away from that crowd Lord knows I was _but you were scared, scared for being all alone _but she can write me and she wont ever write them. Oh, she's a bad girl. Just like her Mother. But I only worried over them because she was there but _now she's gone. _

I held the broken letter in my hand. The sun was gone_ I'll be gone soon. Yes, yes you will I wont worry over you anymore because you'll be far away and I'll be gone from there_ and the trees were bathed in velvet blackness, the moon a silver coin hanging in the sky. I held out the broken letter, the worry, _fear for them,_ and as the wind came up rushing-like I let it go _no longer worrying after them _and it flew away, even though it was broken.

some italicized text is taken directly from The Sound and the Fury. Quotations follow:

"I'll be gone soon"(12).

"I'll give you a thousand dollars"(209).

"You haven't got a thousand dollars"(209).

"Yes I have. I will have. I can get it"(209).

"Just promise that she'll-"(209).

"You'll have to promise to take care of her"(209).

"Promise, Jason"(209).

'"Sure," I says. "As long as you behave and do like I tell you"'(210).


End file.
